Bringing a New Baby Home

New babies don’t have instruction manuals. Not that dads are known for reading the instructions. We usually tell ourselves and others, “I got this”. The funny thing is that we often find ourselves with extra parts or something attached backward. Perhaps you are especially organized and have the engineering degree need to put that Christmas morning present together. As for me, some assembly required usually means frustrations and several words that you wouldn’t want to say in front of momma.

I want to encourage those with older kids that I’m not going to do these blogs “necessarily” chronologically. However much sense that may mean for a future publication, I know that there are readers at different stages in life, facing various struggles. I like to stay up with current events and readers questions/comments that may spark a specific interest. This was just a side note.

Back to my daily rant, I have been asked what I believe new dads should know about that first couple of weeks at home. Let me paint this picture as clearly as possible. Both of my boys are now grown and in the military. My oldest is in the Navy. My middle child is a Marine. I’m not making light of the Navy boot camp, but there are 2 reasons that I’m going to give a Marine analogy. #1, my oldest son is a machine. Once you set him in motion he just keeps going. I really did not worry about him at boot camp. I knew he was going to be successful. #2, my middle son would fit the typical all American athletic kid. He has lots of potentials, but can be lazy at times.

Marine boot camp has been reported to me as a bit more lengthy and intense. My son described it as very little sleep, always hungry, always being yelled at, and when you think something is over, it gets worse. I told my son that it sounds like being a new dad and getting into a new routine. At least it is the case for dads that try to do it right. There are some fathers that allow this time to fall heavily on their wives. This is a mistake.

Try as you may, a baby is on their own schedule. You can attempt to “groom” them into a schedule. However, in many cases, babies are like cowlicks. No matter how you comb it, it kind of does its own thing. Many babies are up and hungry while the world sleeps. You know, it’s the time when you should be resting before going to work. DO NOT use this as an excuse to stay in bed, ignore the babies cries, hoping your wife will get up.

Mom’s have this amazing connection with babies that gives them extra stamina or resilience. However, it does not mean that their bodies and minds don’t pay for it later. So in Marine terms, you are exhausted. When you don’t sleep, you get fatigued and stressed. Finally, when you think you did everything right to get them to sleep, the eyes pop open and they wanna play.

The positive side of it is the end product and the bond that results for your continuous care. Dads…hear my words. Look for opportunities to step up. This is where the “I love you” words to your wife are proven. Seriously, If you slack off, stay in bed, fuss at her, or use the words “I gotta go to work”, you are gonna screw up. Doing your best to serve and love her as well as your baby makes you “the man”, not “henpecked”. It means that you are strong enough to do what you have to do as well as bare the needs and load of others.

The first couple of weeks or months can definitely be an adjustment. However, your performance will echo with your wife for years. This is especially true when ladies get together to talk about their men. Don’t be the loser. You won’ get everything right. You may not even get verbalized appreciation. However, it is the best course to take. Serve your family. Bear their burdens. Talk is cheap. Show your love with action.

When you have additional children, not that all kids are the same but you will know what to expect. It was so much easier with my second and third child. Again, not because they were better babies, but I was just living in a been there, done that situation. I knew what to do. I didn’t do everything right, but I got my butt outta bed and sought to be of assistance.

Something that worked for me to make this time a bit easier was a quick nap at lunchtime. I brought a sandwich, ate on the walk to my lunch break, set a timer, and crashed. When I got home in the evening, I would play with my babies if they were awake. If not, I would try to catnap again or go to bed early. You will develop your own system. Just make sure that you stick to it. Keep moving forward and be the best dad possible.

Deacon

Being a Dad with Several Children

So you are a dad. You have embraced the joy and challenge of becoming a real live hero. Awesome. However, what happens when your family continues to grow? Are 2 kids harder to manage? Are 3 kids harder still? How do you divide your time? Will the second and 3rd child be like the first experience. (ha-ha mad scientist laugh).

I’m not taunting you but remembering my own experience. Having your first child is a huge learning experience. Sadly, most people make the most errors in dealing with their first child. I know that I did. Sorry son, if you are reading this. Actually, my son turned out amazing despite my inexperience and youth.

Most of the errors in dealing with a first child are quite common…at least for men. As awkward as you were when learning to ride a bike, drive a car, or tie your shoes, there are some basic similarities. You are not used to doing it. How do you get better at it?…repetition and time. The more you do any task, the better you can become. Eventually, it becomes manageable. Parenting is like this in many ways. It takes some getting used to. At first, you are or should be a bit nervous about the tasks that will become second nature after a while. Does it get easier? It appears that way, but actually no. You are just getting better at it.

I know it sounds horrible to say that your first child is like training. Probably the better term would be a growing process. If you have only one child, your attention can remain undivided and you can work for that child to perfection. If you have 2 or more, I have to say that in this writer’s opinion it is not 2 or 3 times as difficult. There are exceptions to the rule. However, most of the provisions for them will be similar.

The differences are in personalities, sex of the child, and any special needs. I don’t think I am alone on this. Perhaps the parents of several children can collaborate. However, when I look at my 3 kids, it is hard to believe that they have all come from the same parents. Obviously, there can be similarities in appearance, but in personality…holy cow.

My first son was the only child of my first marriage. Yes, I married twice. That will be discussed in another post. He lived with his mother and me until he was 5, spent 5 years with her, then requested to come back to living with me at the age of 10. Personality wise he was artistic. Although he was good at wrestling, he was a musician at heart. He was/is more of a loaner. I know that may sound weird, but he just never “needed” a crowd. He was very obedient and aimed to please. Personality wise, he was a piece of cake.

Second, we have my middle child…a boy. Her was the party. He was/is SUPER social and an amazing athlete. Music skills…not so much. Okay, it was awful. He was also the most combative of the three. Tell him that the sky was blue and you would get an argument. He had/has a temper, although MUCH better as an adult. He was a daredevil, doing crazy stunts…no fear.

My last child is my only daughter. She was a sweet little princess, with one major exception. She HATED to lose. As a matter of fact, if I got called from the school concerning a fight, my question was usually what did she do? If you merge a soccer star, lawyer, and Ronda Rousey together, that would be her. Once, when she was in the 2nd grade, a little boy tried to lift her dress in the classroom. She hit him with a chair…no joke.

When it comes to the sex of the child, there is usually a different way in which dads deal with their daughters. Despite all the different beliefs, moments, and campaigns concerning sex and gender, I believe that the relationship is different. Not to sound too caveman on the issue, my boys were a beat on myself source of pride. My daughter had/has my heart in her hands.

When it comes to special needs, there is definitely another level of concern and concentration that takes place. I will not be so arrogant as to assume what these parents endure or the challenges that they face. I just believe that God equips them with special strength and gifts to be able to face those challenges.

I hope and pray that through this blog, that I may grow to know more dads with special needs children. Your love and strength are so inspiring. I never want to just walk up to these men and start asking questions. I hope that some of you will reach out to me and share your story, so that I may learn and become better equipped to serve those in this situation.

So there is learning, training, errors, and differences that must be faced by the multiple child dad. Regardless of how many children you have or will have. Give them all the love and strength you can. Please reach out to me with any questions and or comments. Let’s continue to be the best dad that we can be.

Deacon

Being a Dad for the First Time

This blog is all about being a dad. Before that happens you need to have the husband part of you on the right track. Yes, I said, husband. I’m from the south and am a traditional man for the most part. I believe that parents should be married. Just as you have the right to do as you wish, I have the right to my opinions and beliefs as well. My goal is not to offend. However, someone is always offended by something.

I am assuming that although pregnancy may have not been planned, you are good on your choice for your wife/mother of your child. If not, you may want to end your reading here…awkward…lol.

When I was told that my wife and I were expecting, I almost did a back flip on the front porch. However, since that would have probably ended with a doctor visit I refrained. I was THRILLED! I yelled YES from the front porch. I’m confident the whole neighborhood heard me. As I looked back at my wife sitting on the front porch, I noticed that she was in tears. Praise God they were tears of joy. In addition to that, they were happy tears for my reaction (self pat on the back). We didn’t have any chickens, but I was a strutting rooster on that porch. I think we called everyone we knew.

A couple of months later I found out that we were having a boy. Once again, I was the rooster. It was hilarious because of all the men in the waiting room who had not gone in with their wives to discover the sex of the child was looking really nervous. I was until I found out. I wonder how many dads ask the sonogram tech if they are “sure”. Am I really asking this person if they know what a penis looks like? It was definitely a part of the training I would imagine.

I came out of that office fist bumping and even chest bumping the other dads. This was not because I didn’t want a daughter. I just had been told all my life that boys were easier. This made me feel like I might be able to handle it. Unfortunately, I had to survive the pregnancy first.

Men, all people are different. However, let me tell you that there are changes that will take place that you do not understand. You don’t have to understand. What you need to do is watch, listen, and love your wife like there is no tomorrow. That is as simple as I can put it. DO NOT tell her that you understand, or have any knowledge concerning what she is feeling or going through. Her mood, how she feels physically, what she likes, what she hates, can all change during this time. I can’t tell you what to say when to say it, or what to do. I told my wife that I loved her once. She said shut up.

Finally, the day arrived. My wife was a bit past her due date, so they decided to induce labor. Please bear in mind that I was only 22 years old. Yes, I was a kid. I didn’t know what was going on, what was going to happen, or what I was supposed to do or not do. Unlike days of old when men use to wait in the “waiting room”, I was ushered into the delivery room to be supportive or at least be blamed.

My first child came into the world after a long labor process. Now started the next chapter of “I don’t know what I’m doing”. My point in sharing this with you is that no book or pep talk can prepare you for this time of your life. To clarify, it means that everyone and every situation is different. The best advice I can give is to listen to your bride and seek the wisdom of others that you respect. Take it easy. You don’t have to panic. You will feel lost at times. This is part of the journey.

Take things one day at a time and don’t overextend yourself. Don’t make predictions or promises of what things are going to be like. The truth is that for your first experience as a dad, you have no clue when the journey begins. It is easier if you don’t assume. Take each day as a learning experience. Your life will be different from here on out. If you believe that life is about you, prepare yourself for some hard lessons. You need to commit yourself a new every day to this miracle that will form the rest of your life.

There are many challenges to face in these first few chapters. Not all the lessons and truth you discover will be wonderful. Being a dad will test your character as a man. These tests will come in the form of many little things and perhaps some big ones. Tackle one task at a time. Put your wife and that child first before yourself. This is the best bet for being successful.

Deacon  

Daddy 101

Once I had a conversation with one of my students. To be specific, this was an American young man of about 17. He inquired as to what I wanted out of this teaching gig. I told him that I had several goals. “One of the goals is to help make you a good father”. “What?”, he asked. “You know I’m only 17. I’m not planning on being a dad for a long time, if at all”.

I proceeded to say that his timing may work out. However, things change, people change, and it’s better to be prepared no matter what. My student, we will call him Dean, asked me why this was important to me. After all, babies eat sleep and poop. I smiled and said, “that’s it huh”? Before I dive into the conversation that followed, let me clarify a few things. Being a dad was not the subject that I taught. I taught 2 theology classes that were mandatory for graduation from this Christian school. However, I felt that our college “prep” was lacking in school. I specifically believed that we needed to do more for these kids to prepare for life. There were several examples of paternity in scripture, so I used that to segway into questions and discussions that would challenge these young people to interact on the subject.

When it came to this particular lesson, I called it Daddy 101. I asked Dean about his dad. “Was he a good example in your mind”? “That asshole?”, he asked. “No way. He was never around. He was too interested in the adolescent activities that he shared with his loser friends”. I was shocked at his response but tried not to show it. “So you would do things differently?”, I asked. “Yeah…I mean, dads are supposed to love their kids and want to be with them.” “What have you learned from your father about being a good dad?”, I asked. “Nothing”, Dean exclaimed. “I disagree”, I said.

Dean already had ideas in his mind about what a dad was/is supposed to be. These ideas were forged by his observation of his own father’s performance and attitude. He was also able to draw from observations the way that his father made him feel. I don’t know if Dean’s idea about his dad were exaggerated with emotion or if he was spot on about his father’s behavior. The point was to draw from that experience in a way that would serve Dean’s potential children in the future. Dean knew how he felt because of his father’s behavior. He never wanted anyone to feel that way.

I told Dean that he was not alone in his experience. Many biological fathers don’t know how to be a dad. I encourage him to take his negative feelings and turn them into a lesson that would serve others. Fortunately, Dean was a reader and well spoken with adults. I encouraged Dean that he needed to be proactive and educate himself about relationships and children. He needed to network with people that he could learn from. Role models are everywhere, good and bad. As long as you can identify them, copy the ideas that are good and ignore the bad ones.

In addition to this, I encouraged Dean NOT to close the door on his father. Many people have epiphany moments and come to a knowledge of their wrongdoing. A way that he could help his father was to pray for him and look for opportunities to be a blessing to him. I told Dean, “You need to understand that relationships are hard work. It can be very disappointing. Your father may or may not come around to a healthy acknowledgment of his actions. His response to your gestures of forgiveness and openness to reconciliation are not your responsibility. It’s on him. However, if there is potential for healing, I think it is worth a shot.”

Being a dad starts with prep work. It begins now. I understand that most teenagers have their minds elsewhere. Most of them live in the “now” and are not thinking about future responsibilities. However, whenever I ran across a student that wanted to talk about the subject I jumped at the chance to do so.

You and I have an impact on other people…positive or negative. We are examples…good or bad. Young people can and do learn from both. The problem is that many of them are not asking questions. They don’t know what questions to ask. This is why we need to take opportunities to be examples and to get to know the dads of tomorrow. It is training. Just like an athlete, the better the training, the better chances for victory. They need coaches. We need coaches.

If you are a young man, whether in school or beginning a family, let me encourage you to get a mentor. If your dad is a good example that is great. However, no matter your situation, I always encourage people to learn from more than one source. Be observant. Ask questions. Take every opportunity to prepare yourself for the greatest job you will ever have.

By the way, Dean is now married and has two beautiful little girls. He is addicted to them. Every once in a while I get a text from him. I love seeing pictures of those little ones with the biggest smiles I have ever seen. Good job Dean…keep learning.

Deacon

Our Kids are Worth It!

Yesterday was Father’s Day. It was a time in which many of you may have picked up the phone and said “Happy Father’s Day”, or even gave a present to the man that fits this role in your life. For others, this can be a difficult time due to a father’s passing or a difficult upbringing. For me, it was my first Father’s as an “empty nester”. It was my first time in which I saw none of my kids, yet got the phone call or text message wishing me well.

I have to admit that it was a lonely time. However, dads can feel this loneliness when they are surrounded by people and very busy. As the world flooded social media and tv commercials full of dad ads, I was reminded of times that it felt as if I was in opposition to the world. This included my kids and my wife. There were times in which I had to make difficult and unpopular decisions for the benefit of my kids.

On several occasions, I can recall telling my wife that I would not do the wrong thing to be popular with my children. This sucks. Every dad wants his kids to be happy with him. He is supposed to invoke a smile and be a conquering hero. However, some of the worst dads I ever met gave their kids anything they wanted. They would not say no. The ironic thing was that the kids were very insecure and depressed. How could this be if someone always says yes?

Well, we don’t always know or choose what is best for us. Instant gratification can bring about regretful feelings in hindsight. Have you ever eaten too much? Have you ever drank too much? Have you ever stopped an exercise routine? These are basic ideas. However, I’m sure that if we allowed people to peek in our closet, they would find several decisions that have not served us well.

As a dad, it is your job to put good and healthy opportunities in front of your kids. You must think about their future when they don’t. I promised my children that I would never say no for the sake of saying no. If I needed to, there was a reason, and I may not be able to explain it at the moment. However, if they wished to discuss my decision at the proper time, I would be glad to do so. I found this to be successful in dealing with my children. However, there are a few rules that I needed to implement for myself in order for this to work:

  1. Be consistent. Say and do what you say you are going to do.
  2. Don’t make your decisions in the midst of emotion. You may need to take a moment or request time to think about your decision.
  3. If your children wish to discuss your decision at and in an appropriate time/setting, listen to them. Don’t interrupt, but be an active listener.
  4. Stand by your commitment to do and provide the best for your kids despite the popularity of your decision.
  5. Apologize if/when you get it wrong.

Surprisingly enough, my kids rarely brought my decisions to the discussion table for a challenge. There were a handful of times. However, having time to get over emotions and ponder a ruling usually lets them see your point of view more clearly. When they learned that I would not back down in order to be popular, this saved me so many arguments. Again, consistency is the key.

It is not the job of your kids, especially little kids to know what is best for them. It is your job and that of their mother. Keep in mind that parents don’t always agree. This is another topic for another post. However, I wanted to recognize the importance of good communication and the efforts of both parents to work towards putting their children’s needs above their egos.

Doing what is right can be a very lonely feeling. You may feel that everyone is against you. Trust me when I say that it is not the whole world, but it can be “your world”. You may feel like some creature that no one understands. Anyone that says that parenting is easy is an idiot. Let me hear the amens. It is hard! It is a fight, and sometimes a fight with those you are fighting for.

I want to encourage you NOT to avoid tough decisions. So many times we just don’t want to “deal with it”. Yes, it is a pain. It’s difficult. However, they are worth it. Your kids are worth whatever you need to go through and endure for their benefit. That is what makes you the hero. Keep moving forward. Never quit.

What if you screwed up? What if you blew it? Acknowledge your mistake and find that starting point. You can always start from where you are. We can’t undo mistakes, but we can learn what NOT to do in the future. Whether it is investing in your kids future or healing a relationship, you are going to take some hits. You are going to feel alone at times. However, we must remember that our kids are worth it.   

Deacon

Dad/Father Figure

I carry a small envelope in my bible, that most people don’t know about. It is a thank you note from a girl that is now a nurse but was a former student of mine. She thanked me for teaching her so much stuff to prepare her for college. She told me about her college plan. Then she hit me with a bombshell. She thanked me for being her dad. What?

Can you be a dad, but not someone’s father? Apparently so according to this young lady that was thousands of miles from home. Some of you may have no biological children, or you may have a dozen. I want to clarify my stance on the dad concept.

Our children are those that God puts in our care. However, the idea of a non-biological dad cannot be assumed but can be adopted by a child. What makes you their dad? It is your role and what you mean to them. The dad title is earned. It is a humbling thing to hear their declaration. While it is an honor, it is equally a burden to live up to someone’s view of you.

There are those kids that have no dad. There are kids who have crappy ones. Some have dad’s that for some reason cannot be with them. You never know the circumstances until you are in them. You may also never be told what you mean to a particular young person or child.

This is why I believe this blog is for every man. I hope it may also be a resource for ladies/mothers in some way. We as men need to utilize examples. We need to learn. We need to listen. Too many times our pride/ego can get in the way of us growing and improving.

Back to the subject at hand, our roles as dad’s are paramount in the life of our kids. According to an article published by the Minnesota Psychological Association, the absence of fathers in the household can result in numerous disadvantages for young people. Examples of these include perceived abandonment, attachment issues, child abuse, childhood obesity, criminal justice involvement, gang involvement, mental health issues, poor school performance, poverty, homelessness, and substance abuse. For a more detailed look at this information, here is the link to the article. https://www.mnpsych.org/index.php?option=com_dailyplanetblog&view=entry&category=industry%20news&id=54:father-absent-homes-implications-for-criminal-justice-and-mental-health-professionals

Many of these issues we will discuss in further posts. However, I have one issue with the findings of this report. I don’t believe it is the absence of a biological father, but of a dad that contributes to these potential issues. Some biological fathers can be a source of disadvantage and harm. Perhaps the article should qualify the statement of fathers in the home as a healthy 2 parent home, or a loving 2 parent home.

Due to the rate of increased single parent homes, specifically those in which the fathers are uninvolved, this is why good men role models need to step up. What does this mean? I believe that by making ourselves available, listening, and being sensitive to the needs of those around us, many of us may be adopted into the dad role. Again this role should never be assumed. This is not an entitlement that any man should claim, but one in which he may be invited to do so.

This is why I believe that all men have a duty and responsibility to forge themselves in a role model that is worthy of such an honor if called upon. Just because you may not be a biological father does not mean that you can’t be a dad. It may be that this specific purpose is what you are called to do.

How do you start? You start the same way all dads do. You give your time. “Being there” is where it begins, not being perfect. Since there is no such thing as the perfect dad, don’t tell yourself that you are not one. You are not the perfect elephant either. So, why put a standard on the role. As I stated in my last post. I don’t know the perfect dad, but I know the best one. You may be the best dad that a kid or young adult may encounter. You don’t know what they need. You may not have all the resources, skill, and the right answer. Just start with time. Time is the greatest show of love. What we love, we spend time doing or investing ourselves in.

The second point, but no less important is a sacrifice. There are many dads that must be away for certain periods of time in order to provide for their children. This is a hard thing to do. It is hard to be in one place when your heart is in another. I am no authority on this subject. Although, I know many men who deal with this struggle. The American author Napoleon Hill once said, “Great achievement is usually born of sacrifice, and is never the result of selfishness”.

The third and final point is to know that kids will not always understand and articulate what time and sacrifice mean. However, they can feel it and know it in their hearts. Many times being a parent is a very thankless job. This does not just apply to dads. You as a nurturing parent are committing your life, not 18 years to a child. This is a huge undertaking. No matter how old they are, they are always your kids. The relationship develops and changes but still requires time and sacrifice. This requires you to continue learning. When you think you know it all, you are screwed. The “know-it-alls” usually turn out to be the biggest disappointment. Every day is new as is each challenge. Be the best dad you can be.

Being the best dad

No one can give sound advice on parenting unless they first evaluate themselves and where they came from. We must study, research, discuss, debate, and not forget our origins and bias.

At the time of this writing, my father is 87 years old and has more energy than most 30-year-olds. He does not believe in retirement and has a huge work ethic. Every day it is a challenge to conquer and a war to be won. If purpose keeps you going, he will outlive most of us.

A lot of people talk about their dad. We want our dad to be a hero, or remembered as such. We want to be proud of them as much as we want them proud of us. Some of you got this in life. Many others did not. There is a huge difference between a biological father and a dad, at least in my mind. While some were fortunate to have a role model for how to “dad right”, others must learn from bad examples…knowing what “not” to do.

I am one of those fortunate enough to have a good example to draw from. Please noticed that I said “good”, not perfect. Dad has many flaws. He has made and will make plenty of mistakes. Let me give you an example.

I was the only boy of five children. I was also the youngest. That’s right…I had five moms. Needless to say, dad wanted me to be tough. This meant pushing toughness on me whether it be physically, emotionally, or even medically. I was and am allergic to beans, specifically pinto beans. I had a very strange reaction. My throat would close up a bit, but the worst part was that I would get immense cramping in my back. Dad thought that my bean allergy was all in my head, so he decided to slip a spoonful of refried beans into the meat he was preparing for tacos. He wanted to be able to tell my mother and myself that it was psychosomatic. After my throat closed up and I went to the floor with back cramps, he figured out two things. He learned that he was wrong and that my mother still had her temper from her youthful days.

One other time I was playing soccer. Dad was our coach. During a game, an opponent player and I both kicked the ball and /or each other. My big toe snapped. It was the final moments of the game. I yelled at my dad that I could not kick with my left foot. He yelled back, “then use your right foot”. After the game, the swelling began to go up to my ankle. Once he saw it, he had to tell my mother. After a trip to the ER, getting my shoe cut off, and getting a CAST, we went home. That was the quietest ride we ever had in the car.

Dad’s don’t always get it right. Mine didn’t always get it right. That’s not the point. Upon my self-examination of my role model as well as myself, I am convinced that dad did do his best. He was there. He loved and supported me. You can love and support someone and still screw up. I see that in my own rearview mirror as a dad. Oh my gosh, I have wanted to crawl under a rock after getting it wrong. Apologizing and asking children for forgiveness is one of the most humbling things that I and my father have ever done. You as a dad are supposed to have the “right” answers. You are supposed to be the solution to their problems, not the source of their frustrations or trouble.

My question to you is, do you love your kids enough to screw up…what? Let me take you back to soccer. This was my sport growing up. Fortunately, I did well enough to have the knowledge to help my kids get going. They turned out to be much better than me. Anyway, If you know anything about soccer, let me turn your attention to defense. If you are an aggressive defender, you will on occasion foul someone in the box, or score an “own goal” for the other team. It happens when you are trying your best. You will screw up as a dad when you are trying your best.

Throwing yourself in the line of fire for your kids is honorable, but you can also land on them…hurting them. Do you get the picture? If you commit all you are, you are still committing a fallible human being to them. Going all in means accepting that you won’t be perfect. Guess what, your kids won’t be perfect either.

In Summation,  I’m still evaluating the man in the mirror as well as my aging father. We have discussions and debates on many issues, just as I do with my now grown children. We both believe that being a dad is the greatest job in the world. We also believe that it has been the most difficult job we have ever done.

Being a dad is a lifelong pursuit. Whether you are observing your role models, have little children, or are an empty-nester…you are always learning. You can be “the champ”, but never undefeated. I do not know the perfect dad. I know the greatest one. He is 87 years old and is still learning.

Cast pride aside and learn. Love your kids enough to screw up. When you do screw up, get up and begin again. All we can do is find the starting point. Where do we go from here? Let’s start with our commitment. I hope you will join me on this journey and share this with those that may benefit from it.

Deacon

Let’s Get Busy

Thanks for joining me!

Being a dad is the greatest job on earth. It definitely isn’t easy. There are a lot of hard choices along the way. It’s hard finding a healthy balance; knowing when to pick your battles. Sometimes you have to fight for your kids. Other times, you are fighting your kids.

There is a lot that we can learn together. I am going to offer some opinions, give you my experience, and even suggest some things that you may disagree with. After all helping someone is not telling them what they want to hear. It’s telling them what they need to hear. Am I always right? By no means, but I will be honest. That is the best I can offer you. 

I hope you will follow this blog, build a community with me, so we can learn together and strengthen one of the most powerful relationships that mankind has ever known.

 

Deacon